Rother House Medical Centre
Alcester Road
Stratford upon Avon
Warwickshire
CV37 6PP

Heath Lodge Clinic
1357 Warwick Road
Knowle
Solihull
West Midlands
B93 9LW

Mobile: 07836 261661

Email: chris@addiction-therapy.co.uk

Chris Sharpe is also an associate of Twin Rivers Rehab in South Africa

Twin Rivers in South Africa

Self Esteem And How To Improve It

Raising your own self-esteem means that you will learn to be your own best friend, good internal parent or guardian angel. It means feeling good and realistic about yourself and others but does not guarantee success in the world.

What is Self-Esteem?

According to one definition (Braden, 1969), there are three key components of self-esteem:

  • Self-esteem is an essential human need that is vital for survival and normal, healthy development.
  • Self-esteem arises automatically from within based upon a person's beliefs and consciousness.
  • Self-esteem occurs in conjunction with a person's thoughts, behaviours, feelings and actions.

What causes low self-esteem?

Our esteem develops from our experiences and relationships from birth.

Negative experiences and troubled relationships lower it, and good experiences and strong bonds raise it.

No single event or person determines our level of self-esteem, it develops over time and can change with time and events.

Healthy self-esteem allows us to be realistic about goals, accept criticism, learn from mistakes and be adventurous but not reckless.

Low self-esteem makes us fearful and unrealistic about goals and risks, which further dents our self-image.

Negative experiences and troubled relationships can lower self-esteem but it is constantly changing.

Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

  • Feeling worthless
  • Feeling incompetent and unrealistic about our abilities
  • Feeling unloved
  • Being overwhelmed with fear and negative thoughts
  • Being unrealistic about goals
  • Being drawn into destructive relationships
  • Fear of change
  • Distorted views of self and others.

How To Boost Self-Esteem?

The route to higher self-esteem, and thinking more positively about yourself includes:

  • Acceptance – of your true strengths and weaknesses
  • Help – with realistic goals to allow you to develop your abilities
  • Encouragement –with realistic planning and timetabling
  • Praise – for your achievements so you can enjoy them
  • Respect – to be proud of who you are
  • Trust – feel more confident in your own thoughts and feelings
  • Time – learn to know yourself and enjoy your own thoughts

What Positive Self-Esteem Does

Self-esteem is not the same as self-centredness. It does not mean you are selfish or egotistical but it does allow you to appreciate the qualities you do have and respond to others in a positive and productive way.

Raising your own self-esteem means that you will learn to be your own best friend, good internal parent or guardian angel. It means feeling good and realistic about yourself and others but does not guarantee success in the world.

Through thinking more positively and realistically about yourself you can develop your talents and abilities, praise yourself, trust yourself and like yourself. When you become more tolerant of the real you your relationships can improve as you become more realistic about others, too.

What Can I Do To Build My Self-Esteem?

  • Take a self-esteem inventory (You can’t fix what you don’t know)
  • Set realistic expectations (This may help you to stop the cycle of negative thinking about yourself)
  • Set aside perfection and grab a hold of accomplishments… and mistakes (You’re never going to have the perfect body, the perfect life, the perfect relationship, the perfect children, or the perfect home. Let it go)
  • Explore yourself (Open yourself up to new opportunities, new thoughts, try out something new, develop new viewpoints, and explore new friendships)
  • Be willing to adjust your own self-image (Keep adjusting your self-image and selfesteem to match your current abilities and skills, not those of your past)
  • Stop comparing yourself to others (The only person you should be competing against is yourself)

Take Good Care of Yourself

Eat three meals a day that are focused on healthy foods—fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as whole grain foods and rich sources of protein like chicken and fish.

Avoid foods that contain large amounts of sugar, caffeine and food additives. If you can’t pronounce the ingredients, avoid it.

Get outside and exercising every day.

Spend some time each day doing something you really enjoy.

Spend time each day with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Have regular check-ups with your health care provider.